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You Don’t Deserve A Good Man

“Daddy, I am almost 30 and still single. What is wrong with these guys? I haven’t had a relationship with a boy that ever lasted more than 3 months. ” Sherrie whined.

“Honey, I am you Dad. I will always be on your side. But you have just stated One true fact, one fiction, and one absolutely false statement. The One true fact is that you turn 30 in a month. The fiction is that, there is nothing wrong with the, to use your term, ‘boys’ you allow into your life.

You have a new boy about every three months. You are physically beautiful and very attractive. But, you are easy to fuck and very self-centered. You will sleep with anyone on the first date, but you give nothing and demand everything from these boys. Not one of them ever sticks around to keep you because you do not engage them in an emotional way. To be blunt, you are a shallow slut. “

“Daddy!” “I am not a slut!”

“Do you sleep with someone on the first date?”

“Well, if they turn me on.

Her father looks through her.

“Okay, I am a slut, but if I meet a good guy, I would keep him. ” Sherrie replies.

“No you wouldn’t. To say that you have never had a relationship for more than three months is false. You had one relationship that lasted six years. And , he was the only MAN you have ever dated that I know of. “

“I have not ever had a six year relationship.

” Sherrie whines again.

“I divorced your Mother and moved us here when you were 13 years old. We meet the Toppings, across the street. Brad Topping was your best friend from that point until he moved away to college when you were both 19. That is a six year relationship. ” Her Dad states.

“Well we were never in a ‘relationship’. He was just always just there. ” Sherrie says rolling her eyes.

“By always there, you mean he listened to your problems. He took you to see movies that you wanted to see. He drove you to school when you were having problems with your boyfriend de-jour. He fixed your car when you forgot to put oil in it. He helped you with your homework. “

“Yes Daddy, he always had a little puppy dog crush on me, so what! We never dated.

” Sherrie exclaims.

“So, did you ever take him seriously?”

“No, an why should I have? He was always quiet. He never asked anything of me and never made any fuss. ” SHerrie replies.

“Sherrie, did you know that Brad went to State when you both were Freshman, because you were going there. “

“He said he wanted to go there. “

“He did, because you were going there.

He even moved you home at semester because you were failing out. ” Dad states. “He was accepted to Princeton, and he went to state for you. “

“He was accepted to Princeton?” Sherrie asks.

“Yes he was, and that is where he graduated from after he got over you. “

“What do you mean got over me?” Sherrie asks indignantly.

“Sherrie, The summer after you failed out of college, Brad came home and asked you to go on a picnic with him to the lake.

” Dad states. “You were broke, as per usual, and he was trying to cheer you up. Do you remember that outing?”

“That is when I meet Marco, the Italian hunk. ” Sherrie reminisces.

“That’s right, Brad asked you out. Made you a picnic lunch, picked you up in his new car, drove you to the lake. To thank him, you could promptly abandoned him, and left to run off with with Marco, the fake Italian.

“What do mean Fake Italian?” Sherrie exclaims.

“Sherrie, Mark Smith lives in Coffeeville, an half hour down the highway. He has been adopting his fake Italian accent on stupid college girls for 15 years. I had DNA testing done on your son to determine paternity in case you didn’t sign the adoption paperwork. ” Her father answers disgustedly. “He is in the county database for six paternity cases.

“You finally broke Brads heart.

That is why he left the next day for Princeton. Hell, he stayed on a couch of a Fraternity brothers until his dorm was available. You left him sitting on a blanket by the lake, and ran off to be impregnated by a phony. You left the only true friend you ever had, the only MAN you ever spent time with. You managed to screw over the only guy who treated you like an equal.

The only man who respected you. You treated him so badly that he finally didn’t give a damn about you. He has only returned to visit his Mom and Dad a few times. But not to worry, they visit him all the time in New York. That is where he lives with his wife and their two kids. “

“Brad got married and didn’t invite me to his wedding?” Sherrie asks.

“Sweetheart, Brad would not invite you anywhere.

He finally discovered that you were not worth it. You did not deserve his respect. You did not deserve his friendship. You did not deserve his adoration. You had not earned the right to have that fine man as a aquantence, much less what he had always hoped for. “

“Daddy, why do you know all of this?” Sherrie asks.

“I play golf with Brad’s Dad every week. I am regaled weekly with stories of how Brad is doing.

First at Princeton, on their rowing team and 4 years of the Dean’s list. Then at Harvard Law, as a member of their Law Review. Stories about Brad meeting a beautiful and smart girl. Stories about Brad getting married on Martha’s Vineyard and honeymooning in Barbados before returning to his wife’s father’s Law Firm to become a junior partner. Stories about Phil and Mary’s Grandkids. Oh yeah, I know all about my buddy Phil’s super successful son.

” Sherrie’s father continues.

“You wanna know what I get to share in return? I get to enchant Phil with stories of my super-slut daughter and her quest to be the laughing stock of the county. If there is a loser in Montgomery County, you have been involved in a reoccurring drama with em. “

“Dad! You know what is happening in my life? You know who I date?” Sherrie asks in a nasal whine.

“Sherrie, everyone knows who you spread your legs for. Everyone knew when you were fucking married Mr. Jones at the Super 8 on the highways outer road. His wife found out and divorced his ass. They have two kids. Everyone knows everything about you. Hell, you are the queen gossip slut of Montgomery County. “

“Daddy! I didn’t know you knew all that. You must think so little of me. ” Sherrie pouts.

“No Sherrie, I don’t. You are my daughter, but I am glad Brad was smart enough to get away from you. I was not smart enough to get away from your mother. You take after her. She had so may affairs while we were married I had to get you away from her. She wasn’t much of a mother, but I loved her for so long. Phil and I hoped, when you and Brad were in Middle School together that you would become a couple.

We both got over that real fast as you ‘spread’ your…wings. “

“Anyway, you aren’t married to some sucker, making his life a living hell with your constant desire to find something new. So, as long as you stay with the losers, and stay away from the married guys, have at it. ” Sherrie’s father states.

“But Daddy, I want to find a man and keep him. ” Sherrie whines.

“Sherrie, haven’t you been listening.

You cannot love, truly love another until you love yourself. Let’s get you into therapy to discover why you are so unhappy with yourself. “

“That will take too long, I’ll just do this myself. ” Sherrie says as she leaves the room.

“Oh well, at least I got her tubes tied when she had her k**. ” Sherries Dad laments.


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