Help me or I’ll burst

My buddy sits with me and begs me that I have to help him…What should I help with…He is separated from his girlfriend and hasn't banged for three weeks…I've got big balls, he says directly… Can't you give me a hand…I grin and think to myself, give me a hand, like that… But as a best friend, I lent a hand… oh not just my hand…My God did he hosed down….. Let's see how often I have to give him a hand…;-)