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My Hippo Story

MY HIPPO SAGA: (the essence of this tale is indeed verifiable but also embellished with a smidgen of humour)
Being new to Fort Victoria, I heard there was good Bass Fishing in Lake Kyle with a word of warning for Hippo. With indelible recollection, I did not succumb to the imminent possibility of a REAL Hippo being resident where I was fishing so I continued unremittingly in my endeavours to seek the ‘lunker bass’.

I was just above knee deep in the water when I heard the distant snorting of a Hippo getting closer and closer. I didn’t really think it would come to me because it couldn’t hear me and I wasn’t too sure if it could see me because of the trees in the water from the raising of the dam wall…..yeah bloody right mate!
The colossal creature came out of the water and lunged toward me about 5 metres away, and if you think 5 metres is a long way..think again china! I never knew that I could run in water or maybe I was running ON water I am not sure! As I hit the bank, putting the ‘Roadrunner’ way behind me I scurried up a tree quicker than any ape; I am almost certain that tree was planted as a blessing for me in anticipation of this day.

With my heart beating faster than Ginger Baker could produce a drum roll and perched almost at the pinnacle of the tree, I could only watch as the huge angry a****l fortunately halted at the bank and brutally bewailed his demented fury as the leaves on the tree visibly shook…. not too sure if it was from me or the T-Rex!

Immediate thoughts came to mind of a rather gooey, pungent and lumpy fluid running down my legs that had been hastily and uncontrollably emitted from my rectal orifice with the sphincter gland well exceeding its human anatomical parameters! ….

Although undoubtedly imminent, fortunately this did not occur.

In retrospect, looking down the barrel of 10 tons of terrifying tormented tyranny brandishing two ‘Samurai Swords’ deeply embedded in its lower jaw, this was not for the faint-hearted. Happily conceding that he had won the battle, the blundering bulk of buoyancy arrogantly turned and nonchalantly retreated to the water as though nothing had ever happened, well bully for him!
Never was I more pleased to come down from that tree after a good 30 minutes had passed and that I had convinced myself that it was acceptably safe to collect my tackle and depart immediately with a promise NEVER to return to that place of foreboding fear!
After copious amount of the stuff in the little brown bottle at the Chevron Hotel and with courage reinstated, I began to recount my epic tale of the ‘Runner’ and the ‘beast’ to the local patrons therein.

At first their eyes were widened in amazement but as the rendition progressed I realised an obvious expression shift from my eager listeners from awe to something quite the opposite. I was impolitely interrupted by guffaws, embracing of stomachs, finger pointing and with much shaking of the heads from my mocking audience…….
It was then that I was inadvertently and unceremoniously inculcated into the world of HIPPO CREEK and the ROGUE that resides within!!!!.

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